Experience Boogie Nights every night! Sculpted from the most famous porn star of them all, John Holmes, this Realistic Cock captures the towering grandeur and awe-inspiring girth of the one and only king of porn. This massive dong has all the features that made Holmes the most impressive and memorable porn star of his time. The sturdy suction cup base makes Holmes suitable for harness or solo play. When not in use, store the toy in the included silk pouch. This like4like cock is made from phthalate-free body-safe material and is proudly made in America.
• FIRMSKYN Material for Greater Intensity
• Molded Directly from John Holmes, the Original Male Porn Star
• Incredibly Lifelike Look and Feel
• Textured Veins for Added Stimulation
• Removable Vac-U-Lock Suction Cup for Hands-Free Play
• Vac-U-Lock and O-Ring Harness Compatible
• Includes Bag for Discreet Travel and Storage
• Phthalate-Free, Body-Safe
- Insertable/Usable Length 9.90 (in)
- Circumference 7.54 (in)
We have a 30-day return policy, which means you have 30 days after receiving your item to request a return.
To be eligible for a return, your item must be in the same condition that you received it, unworn or unused, with tags, and in its original packaging. You will need to cover the cost of return if your product is not faulty. Please keep your proof of postage safe (like on your fridge, or in your wallet). Please note, we do not refund postage costs unless the item is faulty/damaged.
To start a return or exchange, simply log in or create an account with us and select which order you're returning from. If your return is accepted, you will receive a return address. Items sent back to us without first requesting a return will not be accepted.
You can always ping over an email for any return questions at firstname.lastname@example.org. We're pretty easy to talk to.
Damages and issues
Please inspect your order upon receiving and contact us immediately if the item is defective, damaged or if you receive the wrong item. We will evaluate the issue and make it right. The sooner you let us know, the quicker we can get you the product you ordered.
Exceptions / non-returnable items
Certain types of items cannot be returned, like perishable goods (such as food, flowers, or plants), custom products (such as special orders or personalised items), personal care goods (such as beauty products) and underwear for hygiene reasons. Any intimate items such as dildos and fleshlights cannot be returned once the packaging has been opened.
Unfortunately, we cannot accept returns on gift cards.
The fastest way to ensure you get what you want is to return the item you have, and once the return is accepted, make a separate purchase for the new item to which we will offer free postage using a unique code (just for you). You will need to cover the costs of returning the item though, so please ensure you obtain and keep proof of postage.
We will notify you once we’ve received and inspected your return, and let you know if the refund was approved or not. If approved, you’ll be automatically refunded on your original payment method. Please remember it can take some time for your bank or credit card company to process and post the refund too.
Haus of Montagu ships items in discreet, unbranded packaging.
We aim to despatch all orders in 1-2 business days Monday - Friday. You will receive an email or text notification when your order has been dispatched.
We'll pack your product(s) in recyclable or biodegradable packaging so you can be sure that we're doing our bit for the environment. Please pay this forward by either re-using the packaging or recycling it. Please check with your local recycling services for more information.
All orders are shipped via Royal Mail.
First Class Tracked - £2.45
avg. 1-2 working days
Second Class Tracked - FREE
avg. 3-5 working days
Europe & Channel Islands
Royal Mail Tracked - £10
avg. 5-7 working days
Please note: All postage and packaging charges are made in GBP Sterling (£).
Rest of the World
Royal Mail International Tracked - £20
avg. 6-7 working days
Good To Know
All orders shipped outside of the United Kingdom are subject to local taxes, import charges and clearance by customs. Unfortunately we can't pre-charge these nor can we give an estimate. Please research and consider the costs incurred before purchase. Haus of Montagu is not responsible for any charges incurred.
Heavy items such as playroom furniture will incur extra postage costs outside of the UK. You will see this cost at checkout.
- Due to the nature of some products, we reserve the right to decline orders which request delivery to certain addresses including schools and places of worship.
- When an order is returned to us after an attempted delivery, you will receive a refund for the value of the order minus the shipping costs.
- If you decide to order again, delivery charges will apply as normal.
- Haus of Montagu is not responsible for any orders delayed by incorrect information given at checkout, so please ensure you enter all information correctly.